When I initially came to be a mom, I understood that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the best job they could, but they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools offered today. 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain what exactly they discovered in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a tough period of time. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to realize that, while no person is without fault, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I became a mommy.3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I started reviewing articles about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, extreme punishments as well as basically every other commonly approved parenting method.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs met. I learned more about:
• Solving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these ideas lead to healthy and balanced child development 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different point of view. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had actually seen firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could appear to benefit for the moment. But in the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Considering his background as well as finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
Let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking significant wrongdoing
• Giving your children every little thing they want 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no limitations
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the fact that cooperation consistently yields much better long-lasting results than harsh control.
Moms and dads that adopt this concept have learned to cultivate:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Besides, what occurs when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-control
• Going deeper than plain exterior conformity and focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s exactly how I was parented, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Here are a couple of the strategies Amy shares to encourage you to evolve into the mommy or dad you’ve always intended to be, as well as assist your child to reach his/her highest potential.
Discover the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep. It’s frequently widely accepted (and more typical in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can progress a great deal farther toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from joyful one moment to major tantrum the next. So instead of combating a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is typically a primary emotion beneath it
• Most upset children are actually anxious and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that need to be addressed first. For example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that big need initially.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly upset since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.
• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and growl. The point is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everything in between. So let’s use teenagers in our following scenario … 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we desire to receive from our child, we should be eager to offer. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard and also communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and also you value them as an individual. 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
This doesn’t suggest you need to be a pushover. But it does mean you can be kind despite problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the very first step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker, apologized and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or threaten anybody to settle the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to fix conflict, and also even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with every person around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some readers might be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two adolescent sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
So exactly how can you become a positive parent? 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old parenting style. However gradually, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually altered, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I advise anybody that is serious about becoming a more positive mother or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her free class, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. 3 Yr Olds Behavior Problems
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