When I initially became a mom, I understood that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they really did not have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
There were a few books on our bookshelf concerning dealing with power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as just how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure what exactly they found out in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a tough period of time. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to realize that, while no person is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mother.6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I began checking out articles regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and pretty much every other typically approved parenting method.
I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to have their needs fulfilled. I found out about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might seem to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child connection.
Considering his history and also finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
First, let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring significant misbehavior
• Providing your children every little thing they ask for 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the fact that collaboration consistently produces much better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.
Moms and dads who adopt this concept have actually learned to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear retribution if they do not … Besides, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Assisting kids to establish self-discipline
• Going much deeper than simple outside compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Get to the root of the misbehavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically simpler (as well as much more usual in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a great deal further toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you as well as me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from happy one minute to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is always a main emotion under it
• Most angry children are really anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that need to be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on meeting that huge need first.
• Validate his feelings without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s tough due to the fact that you genuinely want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to enable him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our following example … 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to get from our child, we must be willing to provide. If I am discourteous, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult just due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or daddy, you can set the example and also show your teenager that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as an individual. 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind despite disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just recently, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she felt, and she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and also returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also begun playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anyone to deal with the problem. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You recognize why? 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
Since we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to settle conflict, and even how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, and also model the habits we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.
Some readers could be curious about my other half, Antonio, and his two teen boys from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
How can you become a positive parent? 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old parenting style. Yet bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or two from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest anyone that is serious about growing to be an extra positive mother or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. 6 Year Old Wetting Pants At School
Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.