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When I initially came to be a mother, I knew that I wanted to do things differently than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning taking care of power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain what exactly they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a hard number of years. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to recognize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
My own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I started reviewing blog posts concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, severe punishments and practically every other traditionally accepted parenting strategy.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these concepts lead to healthy and balanced child development Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
In the process, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may seem to help for the moment. However in the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.
Considering his background and also finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
Let me inform you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children everything they ask for Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no limits
You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the truth that cooperation always generates far better long-lasting outcomes than forced control.
Parents who embrace this design have learned to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Besides, what occurs once they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to as well as valued
• Helping kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than plain outside compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s how I was raised, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually acted as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.
Discover the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep. It’s usually easier (and extra usual in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can get a lot further towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you and also me. And many times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete meltdown the next. So rather than battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a main emotion under it
• The majority of angry children are in fact frightened and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that need to be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that big need initially.
• Validate his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard since you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our next example … Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to receive from our child, we have to be willing to offer. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teenager merely because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or father, you can set the example as well as communicate to your teen that you value their viewpoint, and you appreciate them as an individual. Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. However it does imply you can be kind despite conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we want our teen to treat us with even more regard, the primary step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten any person to resolve the problem. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with conflict, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with every person around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be astonished at what’s possible.
Some readers might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
Just how can you come to be a positive parent? Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to alter your old parenting style. But little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually transformed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I advise any person that is serious about becoming a much more positive mommy or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button below. Auditory Processing Disorder Classroom Modifications
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