Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia – How I Applied Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Cooperate

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Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mom, I understood that I intended to do things differently than how I was parented. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the huge selection of positive parenting tools offered today. Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

There were a few books on our shelf about managing power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m unsure exactly what they found out in those books, but I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a challenging period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to break the cycle when I became a mom.Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I began reviewing material concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, harsh punishments as well as pretty much every other commonly approved parenting strategy.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these principles bring about healthy child development Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may seem to benefit for the moment. But long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his background and finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

Let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring major misbehavior

• Giving your children every little thing they ask for Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no limits

You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the truth that collaboration consistently produces far better long-lasting results than harsh control.

Moms and dads that embrace this concept have figured out how to cultivate:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s foundational character traits

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and also valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-discipline

• Going deeper than simple outside conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Here are a number of the methods Amy reveals to assist you to come to be the mother or father you’ve always wanted to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her full potential.

Find the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s frequently much easier (and much more common in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

We can get a whole lot more towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs much like you and me. As well as often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

For example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet matured. That means they can go from happy one moment to major meltdown the next. So instead of fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that indicates there is typically a main feeling under it

• A lot of upset children are in fact frightened and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be met first. For example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that large need first.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult because you genuinely want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The point is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our following example … Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to get from our child, we should be eager to give. If I am impolite, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen just due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or dad, you can set the standard and also show your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as an individual. Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

This does not imply you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our teenager to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …

Just the other day, my 2 daughters were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the stolen sticker label, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any person to settle the dispute. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

Because we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to resolve conflict, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and also model the actions we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be curious about my husband, Antonio, as well as his two teenage sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

So just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve transformed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend anyone that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mommy or dad to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Best Colleges For Students With Dyslexia


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