Best Parenting Books About Toddlers – How I Chose Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Behave

Best Parenting Books About Toddlers
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I knew that I wanted to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they really did not have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools available today. Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about handling power struggles, how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they learned in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to realize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my solution Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading material about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, severe punishments and virtually every other typically approved parenting method.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs met. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these concepts lead to healthy and balanced child development Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous relationship, and had witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to work for the moment. Long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt as well as resentment in what was meant to be a caring parent-child connection.

Given his background and discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and applying positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

Let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking major wrongdoing

• Giving your children whatever they want Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the reality that collaboration consistently generates far better long-lasting results than forced control.

Moms and dads that embrace this concept have actually figured out how to promote:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline

• Going much deeper than simple outside compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s exactly how I was parented, and I just had no framework for anything different. Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Here are a number of the strategies Amy reveals to assist you to come to be the mama or daddy you’ve always intended to be, as well as assist your child to reach his/her full potential.

Find the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s frequently widely accepted (and a lot more typical in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a whole lot more toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs similar to you and me. And also many times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet matured. That means they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete meltdown the next. Rather than dealing with a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a primary feeling underneath it

• Many angry children are actually anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that should be met first. As an example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on addressing that big need first.

• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re really angry since I said we could not play at the park today. I recognize it’s tough due to the fact that you really really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following scenario … Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we intend to get from our child, we have to want to offer before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative and also sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

This does not mean you need to be a pushover. But it does imply you can be kind despite disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …

Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate anybody to deal with the problem. And also yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to resolve conflict, as well as even just how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some visitors could be curious about my husband, Antonio, and his two teenage sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

So how can you become a positive parent? Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be tough to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or two from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve changed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I recommend anybody who is serious about becoming a more positive mommy or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Best Parenting Books About Toddlers

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her products have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.

In her totally free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Best Parenting Books About Toddlers


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