Conscious Parenting Newborn – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Listen

Conscious Parenting Newborn
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mommy, I knew that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, however they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. Conscious Parenting Newborn

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning taking care of power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, and also how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m unsure exactly what they learned in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a tough period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to understand that, while no person is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mommy.Conscious Parenting Newborn

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Conscious Parenting Newborn

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began checking out blog posts about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also practically every other typically accepted parenting strategy.

I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these ideas cause healthy and balanced child development Conscious Parenting Newborn

Conscious Parenting Newborn

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and also had observed firsthand how being the “mean dad” might appear to help for the moment. In the long run, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was expected to be a caring parent-child connection.

Considering his background and finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Conscious Parenting Newborn

First, let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Offering your children everything they ask for Conscious Parenting Newborn

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the reality that collaboration consistently produces better long-lasting outcomes than forced control.

Moms and dads that adopt this design have learned to promote:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Assisting kids to grow their self-control

• Going much deeper than simple outside compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s how I was parented, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. Conscious Parenting Newborn

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Below are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to assist you to become the mother or father you’ve always intended to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Get to the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically widely accepted (and extra usual in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

But we can get a whole lot further towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you as well as me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Conscious Parenting Newborn

For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from delighted one moment to complete meltdown the next. So as opposed to battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is always a main emotion below it

• Many mad children are actually anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that need to be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on meeting that huge need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s difficult due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into fists and growl. The objective is to permit him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s talk about teens in our next example … Conscious Parenting Newborn

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to get from our child, we have to be ready to offer. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teenager merely because I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or father, you can set the example as well as show your teen that you value their opinion, and you appreciate them as an individual. Conscious Parenting Newborn

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Conscious Parenting Newborn

Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just recently, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or intimidate any individual to fix the problem. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Conscious Parenting Newborn

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to solve disputes, and even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with every person around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers could be curious about my partner, Antonio, and his 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Conscious Parenting Newborn

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be tough to change your old way of life. But little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually altered, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I recommend any person that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mom or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Conscious Parenting Newborn

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free class by clicking the button shown below. Conscious Parenting Newborn


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