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When I first came to be a mommy, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, yet they really did not have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools available today. Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, and just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”
I’m uncertain exactly what they learned in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a difficult period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to understand that, while no one is without fault, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing blogs about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, severe punishments and virtually every other traditionally accepted parenting strategy.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs satisfied. I discovered:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these ideas bring about healthy child development Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand how being the “mean father” could seem to benefit temporarily. However long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Given his background and discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to examining and following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
Let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Overlooking significant misbehavior
• Giving your children everything they ask for Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the reality that collaboration always produces much better long-term outcomes than forced control.
Moms and dads that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to promote:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to and also valued
• Helping kids to develop self-control
• Going deeper than simple outside compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Get to the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep. It’s usually simpler (and a lot more usual in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a great deal farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs just like you as well as me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
For instance, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from joyful one moment to complete meltdown the next. So rather than dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a key feeling below it
• Most angry children are actually scared and/or sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that have to be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on addressing that big need initially.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re really upset because I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s tough because you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and growl. The objective is to allow him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our next scenario … Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we desire to get from our child, we must be eager to give. If I am disrespectful, controlling and also sarcastic to my teen simply due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard as well as show your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and you appreciate them as a person. Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the very first step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just the other day, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate any person to solve the problem. And yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
Because we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to deal with disputes, as well as even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and also model the behavior we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some readers could be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, and his 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, and the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.
So just how can you come to be a positive parent? Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I’ve ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you will not think how much you have actually altered, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about becoming a more positive mama or dad to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Depresion Infantil Tratamiento
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.