Discipline Classes For Toddlers – How I Chose Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Cooperate

Discipline Classes For Toddlers
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mom, I recognized that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, however they really did not have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools available today. Discipline Classes For Toddlers

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf regarding handling power struggles, exactly how to control the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure what exactly they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, as well as a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to recognize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mother.Discipline Classes For Toddlers

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Discipline Classes For Toddlers

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I began reading material about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and also practically every other typically approved parenting technique.

I started to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I realize there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs satisfied. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How every one of these concepts bring about healthy and balanced child development Discipline Classes For Toddlers

Discipline Classes For Toddlers

In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand how being the “mean dad” might seem to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child connection.

Considering his history and finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as implementing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Discipline Classes For Toddlers

Let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking major misbehavior

• Giving your children whatever they want Discipline Classes For Toddlers

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the truth that cooperation always produces much better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.

Moms and dads that embrace this design have actually learned to foster:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … After all, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and valued

• Helping kids to grow their self-control

• Going deeper than plain outward conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as shouting. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Discipline Classes For Toddlers

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Right here are a couple of the strategies Amy teaches to help you to come to be the mommy or dad you’ve always wished to be, and help your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Identify the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s often much easier (and much more usual in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a great deal farther toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you and also me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Discipline Classes For Toddlers

As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-control) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from delighted one moment to complete meltdown the next. So rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a primary feeling under it

• Most upset children are actually scared and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that have to be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Focus on addressing that huge need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re really mad since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard since you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The goal is to permit him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our next example … Discipline Classes For Toddlers

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we desire to obtain from our child, we should be willing to give. If I am discourteous, manipulative and also sarcastic to my young adult simply due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or dad, you can set the example and also show your teen that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as an individual. Discipline Classes For Toddlers

This doesn’t suggest you need to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Discipline Classes For Toddlers

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any person to resolve the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? Discipline Classes For Toddlers

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to fix disputes, and also even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, and his 2 teen sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So exactly how can you become a positive parent? Discipline Classes For Toddlers

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to alter your old ways. But gradually, you will make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not think how much you’ve altered, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I suggest any person who is serious about becoming an extra positive mommy or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Discipline Classes For Toddlers

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Discipline Classes For Toddlers


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