When I initially became a mom, I recognized that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, however they really did not have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. Disciplining A 15 Month Old
There were a few books on our bookshelf regarding dealing with power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, and how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, as well as a great deal of just plain losing control.
It was a difficult number of years. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mama.Disciplining A 15 Month Old
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Disciplining A 15 Month Old
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I started reading blogs regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and also pretty much every other generally accepted parenting technique.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs satisfied. I learned more about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these principles cause healthy and balanced child development Disciplining A 15 Month Old
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had seen firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to work temporarily. In the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background and also discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and applying positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Disciplining A 15 Month Old
Let me tell you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children every little thing they ask for Disciplining A 15 Month Old
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the fact that collaboration consistently generates far better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.
Parents that adopt this design have actually figured out how to foster:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and valued
• Helping kids to establish self-control
• Going deeper than plain outward conformity and focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not picture that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and shouting. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. Disciplining A 15 Month Old
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Right here are a number of the strategies Amy shares to help you to come to be the mother or dad you have actually always wanted to be, and also encourage your child to reach his or her full potential.
Get to the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s frequently much easier (and a lot more usual in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
Yet we can get a whole lot more toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and also me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Disciplining A 15 Month Old
For example, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet developed. That implies they can go from happy one minute to complete meltdown the next. Instead of fighting a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a primary emotion below it
• The majority of upset children are actually anxious and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that should be met first. As an example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on addressing that large need initially.
• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re truly angry due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I recognize it’s tough because you really really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if required.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a large hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The objective is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following scenario … Disciplining A 15 Month Old
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to get from our child, we should be prepared to provide. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult simply due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you assume that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example as well as show your teen that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as an individual. Disciplining A 15 Month Old
This does not indicate you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Disciplining A 15 Month Old
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer service associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …
Just recently, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate anyone to settle the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Disciplining A 15 Month Old
Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to settle conflict, and also even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be curious about my other half, Antonio, and his two teenage sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
So how can you come to be a positive parent? Disciplining A 15 Month Old
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old ways. But little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody that is serious about becoming an extra positive mama or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Disciplining A 15 Month Old
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. Disciplining A 15 Month Old
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