When I first became a mom, I knew that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best job they could, but they really did not have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools readily available today. How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
There were a few books on our shelf about handling power struggles, how to control the strong-willed child, and also exactly how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain exactly what they learned in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, and a great deal of just plain losing control.
It was a tough number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to recognize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my solution How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I began reading articles regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, extreme punishments as well as virtually every other commonly accepted parenting method.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs met. I found out about:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had witnessed firsthand how being the “mean father” could seem to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.
Given his background as well as discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
Let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking significant wrongdoing
• Offering your children every little thing they ask for How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the fact that collaboration always produces better lasting results than harsh control.
Parents who adopt this concept have actually figured out how to foster:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character traits
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … After all, what happens as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard as well as valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-restraint
• Going deeper than plain outward compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were various other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to countless mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Identify the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep. It’s frequently much easier (and more common in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
Yet we can get a lot more towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you and also me. And most times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet formed. That indicates they can go from happy one minute to complete tantrum the next. So as opposed to battling a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a primary emotion below it
• The majority of angry children are in fact frightened and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that should be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on meeting that huge need initially.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s hard since you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if required.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into fists and also growl. The point is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our next scenario … How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we wish to receive from our child, we should agree to give first. If I am rude, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teenager just because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or father, you can set the standard and also communicate to your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you value them as an individual. How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
This does not mean you need to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer care associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just recently, my 2 girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she said she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and also returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as started playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate anybody to resolve the problem. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with disputes, and also even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, and also model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors may be curious about my other half, Antonio, as well as his two teenage boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and the repair of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.
How can you become a positive parent? How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to change your old ways. Yet little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t believe how much you have actually altered, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest any person who is serious about growing to be an extra positive mother or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. How Should A Father Treat His Daughter
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