How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Behave

How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mama, I understood that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the very best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

There were a few books on our shelf about taking care of power struggles, just how to control the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure just what they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while no person is without fault, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing material about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, harsh punishments as well as virtually every other commonly accepted parenting method.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs satisfied. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these concepts bring about healthy child development How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had seen firsthand how being the “mean father” may appear to benefit temporarily. In the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Given his history and also discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

Let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Giving your children everything they want How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the truth that cooperation always produces far better lasting outcomes than strict control.

Moms and dads that adopt this concept have actually learned to promote:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s foundational character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they fear retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-control

• Going deeper than mere outside compliance and focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t picture that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s just how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Below are a number of the methods Amy reveals to help you to become the mom or daddy you’ve always wished to be, and assist your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Find the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s typically widely accepted (and more common in today’s society) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a great deal further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs similar to you and me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from delighted one moment to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a key feeling under it

• Most mad children are in fact anxious and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that should be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on meeting that huge need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s tough due to the fact that you really really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if needed.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The intent is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s use young adults in our next scenario … How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we intend to obtain from our child, we have to agree to give before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult just due to the fact that I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or father, you can set the example as well as show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, and also you respect them as a person. How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and also returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anybody to settle the problem. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, exactly how to settle conflict, and also even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, and also model the habits we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 adolescent sons from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, as well as the repair of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.

How can you evolve to be a positive parent? How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be hard to change your old ways. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or 2 from now, you will not believe just how much you’ve transformed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I advise anyone that is serious about growing to be a more positive mama or dad to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.

In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and also discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the cost-free class by clicking the button below. How To Deal With Temper Tantrums In 3 Year Olds


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