When I first became a mommy, I understood that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they really did not have access to the variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
There were a few books on our bookshelf about dealing with power struggles, how to control the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure just what they learned in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a tough number of years. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to realize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I became a mom.How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I began reading material regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, yelling, extreme punishments and basically every other traditionally accepted parenting strategy.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:
• Resolving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How all of these principles cause healthy child development How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually witnessed firsthand how being the “mean father” might appear to help temporarily. In the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was meant to be a caring parent-child partnership.
Considering his background as well as finding out precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also applying positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
Let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding major wrongdoing
• Offering your children every little thing they ask for How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the reality that collaboration always generates better long-term outcomes than strict control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have actually learned to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they do not … After all, what occurs when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard and also valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than mere outside compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s just how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Right here are a couple of the techniques Amy reveals to help you to become the mommy or dad you have actually always wished to be, and also help your child to reach his or her highest potential.
Find the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s usually simpler (as well as a lot more typical in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can get a lot more towards solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs much like you and me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet developed. That means they can go from happy one minute to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to dealing with a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a key emotion beneath it
• Most mad children are actually anxious and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that have to be addressed initially. For example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to assist. Focus on meeting that huge need first.
• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I know it’s difficult due to the fact that you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The point is to allow him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting helps all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our next scenario … How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we wish to receive from our child, we should agree to give first. If I am discourteous, manipulative and sarcastic to my teen simply since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or daddy, you can set the example and show your teen that you value their point of view, and you appreciate them as an individual. How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
This doesn’t imply you have to be a pushover. However it does mean you can be kind despite conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking of. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just recently, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and returned the stolen sticker, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced as well as started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any individual to resolve the conflict. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
Since we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to resolve disputes, as well as even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everyone around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some readers might be curious about my husband, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, and the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to transform your old ways. Yet bit by bit, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not think how much you’ve altered, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise any person who is serious about becoming a more positive mommy or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her free class, Amy shares how to help kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. How To Discipline Toddlers In A Daycare
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