When I first came to be a mommy, I understood that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best job they could, however they really did not have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning dealing with power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they found out in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, and also a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a challenging number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve begun to realize that, while no one is without fault, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I started reading articles about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, shouting, extreme punishments and also pretty much every other commonly accepted parenting technique.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how every one of these concepts cause healthy and balanced child development How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may appear to help for the moment. In the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was expected to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Given his history and also finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting mean anyhow? How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
Let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring significant misbehavior
• Giving your children every little thing they want How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no restrictions
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method identifies the reality that collaboration consistently yields far better long-term results than harsh control.
Moms and dads who adopt this design have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear retribution if they do not … Besides, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and valued
• Assisting kids to grow their self-restraint
• Going much deeper than simple exterior compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.
Below are a number of the methods Amy reveals to help you to become the mommy or daddy you have actually always wanted to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her highest potential.
Find the root of the acting out
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s usually widely accepted (as well as more common in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
However we can get a whole lot more toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you as well as me. And also often times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from happy one minute to major tantrum the next. Instead of combating a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is always a main feeling under it
• The majority of mad children are actually scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that must be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re really mad because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s difficult due to the fact that you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a big hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The objective is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our following example … How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to get from our child, we should be eager to give. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my teenager just because I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or daddy, you can set the standard and communicate to your teen that you value their opinion, and also you respect them as an individual. How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
This does not imply you have to be a pushover. But it does suggest you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the very first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to every person in your life. How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer care representative on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …
Just the other day, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, apologized and requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and begun playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not force or manipulate any person to settle the dispute. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to solve conflict, and also even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and also his two teenage sons from a previous marriage. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and also the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually changed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.
I suggest anybody that is serious about becoming a much more positive mother or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Get Kids To Brush Teeth
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