How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Listen

How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mom, I recognized that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

There were a few books on our shelf regarding dealing with power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, and also exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I definitely recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain exactly what they discovered in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.

It was a difficult period of time. And also our relationship is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to understand that, while nobody is without fault, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mommy.How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my plan How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I began reviewing articles concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also practically every other generally approved parenting strategy.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable every person to have their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these concepts cause healthy child development How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might appear to help for the moment. Long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was expected to be a caring parent-child connection.

Considering his history and discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyway? How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

First, let me inform you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Giving your children whatever they ask for How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no limitations

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the reality that cooperation always yields far better long-term results than harsh control.

Moms and dads that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what happens as soon as they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be listened to and valued

• Helping kids to develop self-restraint

• Going deeper than plain outside conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not envision that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also shouting. That’s just how I was parented, and therefore I just had no framework for anything different. How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Right here are a number of the techniques Amy shares to help you to evolve into the mother or daddy you’ve always intended to be, and help your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Find the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s commonly much easier (and also more typical in today’s world) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal further towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs much like you and also me. And often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development spectrum. How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from delighted one minute to complete meltdown the next. So rather than fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a primary feeling below it

• The majority of upset children are really frightened and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that should be met initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that large need first.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s hard because you truly want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The objective is to allow him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens as well as everything in between. So let’s think about teens in our following example … How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to receive from our child, we must agree to give first. If I am impolite, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen just since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or father, you can set the example as well as show your young adult that you value their opinion, and also you appreciate them as a person. How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

This does not imply you need to be a pushover. Yet it does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the very first step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer support rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just recently, my 2 daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned and returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten any person to solve the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

Because we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to resolve disputes, and even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with every person around us with respect, and model the actions we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some visitors might be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, and also his 2 adolescent sons from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, and the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.

How can you come to be a positive parent? How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve changed, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest anyone that is serious about becoming an extra positive mommy or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib

You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her totally free class, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button shown below. How To Get My Baby To Sleep In Her Crib


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