When I first came to be a mommy, I knew that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best job they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. How To Wean 2 Year Old
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf regarding handling power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure exactly what they found out in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, and a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a challenging number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to recognize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mommy.How To Wean 2 Year Old
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy How To Wean 2 Year Old
My very own experience with positive parenting started when my first little girl was born. I started reviewing blog posts regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, screaming, severe punishments as well as pretty much every other typically accepted parenting technique.
I started to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs met. I learned more about:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these principles cause healthy and balanced child development How To Wean 2 Year Old
During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand how being the “mean father” might seem to work for the moment. Yet long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child relationship.
Considering his history and also discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyway? How To Wean 2 Year Old
Let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids do whatever they want
• Being a passive parent
• Ignoring significant misbehavior
• Giving your children everything they want How To Wean 2 Year Old
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “the real world”
• Having no boundaries
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that collaboration consistently yields better long-lasting results than strict control.
Parents who adopt this design have learned to promote:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries
• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs once they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?
• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued
• Assisting kids to develop self-discipline
• Going deeper than mere outside compliance and concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. How To Wean 2 Year Old
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has acted as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Right here are a number of the techniques Amy shares to encourage you to become the mama or father you have actually always wished to be, as well as encourage your child to reach his or her full potential.
Get to the root of the behavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly easier (and extra typical in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a whole lot further toward solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you and me. And frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. How To Wean 2 Year Old
For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from delighted one minute to complete tantrum the next. So rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is typically a main emotion below it
• Many mad children are actually scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be met first. For example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on addressing that large need first.
• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry due to the fact that I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s tough since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The point is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s think about teenagers in our next scenario … How To Wean 2 Year Old
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to receive from our child, we have to be willing to offer first. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult just because I “have every right because I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your teenager that you value their point of view, as well as you respect them as an individual. How To Wean 2 Year Old
This does not indicate you have to be a pushover. Yet it does indicate you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. How To Wean 2 Year Old
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and also she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and returned the swiped sticker, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anybody to deal with the dispute. And also yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You know why? How To Wean 2 Year Old
Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to solve conflict, and even just how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my other half, Antonio, as well as his 2 adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has actually started parenting positively too, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
Just how can you come to be a positive parent? How To Wean 2 Year Old
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I advise anyone that is serious about growing to be an extra positive mama or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. How To Wean 2 Year Old
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely use every day.
In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. How To Wean 2 Year Old
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