Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation. – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Listen

Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mom, I recognized that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools offered today. Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf about taking care of power struggles, exactly how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m unsure what exactly they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a tough number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually come to realize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mama.Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my answer Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first daughter was born. I began reading articles regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, yelling, extreme punishments and also practically every other commonly accepted parenting method.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these ideas result in healthy child development Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

Along the way, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean father” might appear to help for the moment. Long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was meant to be a loving parent-child connection.

Considering his background and also learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

Initially, let me inform you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children everything they want Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique acknowledges the reality that collaboration always produces far better long-term results than forced control.

Parents who adopt this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … After all, what takes place when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued

• Helping kids to grow their self-control

• Going much deeper than mere exterior compliance and focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also shouting. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Below are a number of the methods Amy shares to encourage you to become the mama or father you have actually always wished to be, and also help your child to reach his or her full potential.

Get to the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s usually simpler (as well as extra common in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a lot more toward solving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you and me. As well as often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

As an example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-control) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from happy one moment to complete tantrum the next. So as opposed to combating a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that implies there is typically a primary emotion underneath it

• Many upset children are really scared and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that should be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on addressing that huge need first.

• Empathize with his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we could not play at the park today. I understand it’s tough since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a big hug and also say “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The intent is to enable him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about young adults in our following example … Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we want to get from our child, we should want to give first. If I am discourteous, controlling and sarcastic to my teenager just because I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the standard and show your teen that you value their point of view, and you respect them as an individual. Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

This doesn’t mean you need to be a pushover. Yet it does mean you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish more than you expect to set the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer service associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this one with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back and returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate anyone to solve the dispute. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to deal with conflict, and even how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, and model the habits we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and his two teenage sons from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

So exactly how can you become a positive parent? Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be difficult to transform your old ways. But little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you will not think just how much you have actually changed, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise anyone who is serious about growing to be an extra positive mommy or dad to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.

In her free class, Amy shares how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, as well as learn how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Identify Your Own Key Intrinsic Motivators And Explain How These Were Evident In This Situation.


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