Mayim Bialik Children – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Behave

Mayim Bialik Children
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mommy, I recognized that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they didn’t have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Mayim Bialik Children

There were a couple of books on our shelf about handling power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, and exactly how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure just what they discovered in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a challenging number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to recognize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wanted to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.Mayim Bialik Children

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy Mayim Bialik Children

My very own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest little girl was born. I started reviewing blog posts about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, severe punishments and practically every other commonly accepted parenting technique.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development Mayim Bialik Children

Mayim Bialik Children

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean father” might appear to benefit temporarily. Long-term, it was only breeding disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child partnership.

Given his history and discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and implementing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Mayim Bialik Children

Let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Offering your children every little thing they ask for Mayim Bialik Children

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the truth that collaboration consistently yields far better long-term results than forced control.

Parents who embrace this concept have actually learned to foster:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what takes place as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-control

• Going deeper than plain exterior compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s exactly how I was parented, and I just had no understanding about anything different. Mayim Bialik Children

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Below are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to assist you to become the mother or daddy you’ve always intended to be, as well as help your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Get to the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s commonly widely accepted (as well as more typical in today’s world) to presume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

However we can progress a lot further towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs much like you and me. And also often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Mayim Bialik Children

For instance, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet matured. That means they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete meltdown the next. Instead of dealing with a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is always a main emotion beneath it

• The majority of angry children are in fact anxious and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that big need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad due to the fact that I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s difficult because you genuinely really want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a huge hug and also say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to allow him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teens as well as everyone in between. So let’s use young adults in our next scenario … Mayim Bialik Children

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we desire to get from our child, we must be prepared to offer. If I am rude, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their point of view, and also you respect them as a person. Mayim Bialik Children

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. But it does mean you can be kind despite problems. It will accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teenager to treat us with more regard, the first step is to ensure that you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Mayim Bialik Children

Are you kind to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just a few days ago, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and returned the stolen sticker, apologized and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and begun playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten anybody to resolve the problem. And also yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? Mayim Bialik Children

Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to resolve disputes, and also even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some readers might be curious about my partner, Antonio, and also his two teen sons from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.

So how can you become a positive parent? Mayim Bialik Children

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to transform your old ways. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe how much you have actually altered, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I suggest anybody that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mom or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Mayim Bialik Children

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.

In her free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button shown below. Mayim Bialik Children


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