One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Behave

One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mom, I recognized that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best they could, but they really did not have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning handling power struggles, how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly recall thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”

I’m not sure what exactly they found out in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a hard number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their mistakes. I’ve come to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mama.One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I started reviewing material regarding how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, severe punishments as well as virtually every other typically accepted parenting strategy.

I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to get their needs met. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these ideas result in healthy and balanced child development One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had actually observed firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” might appear to help for the moment. But long-term, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Given his history as well as discovering precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and following through with positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

Initially, let me inform you what it doesn’t imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking major wrongdoing

• Providing your children every little thing they want One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limits

You might see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the truth that cooperation consistently generates better long-lasting results than strict control.

Parents that adopt this design have learned to cultivate:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals

Assisting children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they don’t … Besides, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Assisting kids to develop self-restraint

• Going much deeper than mere external conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as shouting. That’s just how I was parented, and I simply had no framework for anything different. One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Here are a number of the methods Amy teaches to encourage you to come to be the mama or daddy you have actually always wanted to be, and assist your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Get to the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually simpler (as well as extra usual in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal farther toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs much like you and also me. And most times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from delighted one moment to major meltdown the next. Instead of combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a main feeling below it

• A lot of mad children are in fact anxious and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any basic needs that should be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that large need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset since I said we could not go to the park today. I understand it’s hard because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a huge hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting helps any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everyone in between. So let’s use young adults in our next example … One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to obtain from our child, we have to be eager to provide. If I am discourteous, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult just due to the fact that I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard and also communicate to your teen that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as an individual. One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

This does not mean you need to be a pushover. But it does indicate you can be kind despite problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the very first step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she stated she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as started playing once more happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any person to deal with the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to solve conflict, as well as even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively as well, and also the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of a miracle.

So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be difficult to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you’ve transformed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest anyone that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mama or father to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media channels. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, as well as discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the free class by clicking the button below. One Difference Between Classical And Operant Conditioning Is That


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