Picky Eater In Toddlers – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Listen

Picky Eater In Toddlers
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mama, I knew that I wanted to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Picky Eater In Toddlers

There were a few books on our bookshelf about managing power struggles, just how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they learned in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a tough period of time. And our connection is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to understand that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mama.Picky Eater In Toddlers

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Picky Eater In Toddlers

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing blogs concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, yelling, harsh punishments as well as practically every other commonly approved parenting method.

I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Managing power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these concepts cause healthy child development Picky Eater In Toddlers

Picky Eater In Toddlers

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had seen firsthand how being the “mean dad” may seem to benefit temporarily. However in the long run, it was just breeding disrespect, anger and resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child relationship.

Given his history and also discovering exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.


What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Picky Eater In Toddlers

First, let me inform you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking significant misbehavior

• Giving your children whatever they want Picky Eater In Toddlers

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting technique identifies the fact that cooperation consistently produces much better long-term outcomes than harsh control.

Moms and dads who embrace this concept have actually learned to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits

Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they do not … After all, what takes place when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Helping kids to develop self-control

• Going deeper than mere outward compliance and also focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.


What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as screaming. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I just had no framework for anything different. Picky Eater In Toddlers

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Here are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to help you to become the mama or dad you have actually always intended to be, and help your child to reach his or her full potential.

Find the root of the misbehavior

I told you this is deep. It’s frequently widely accepted (and a lot more typical in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

However we can progress a lot further toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs much like you and me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Picky Eater In Toddlers

For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that makes it possible for self-restraint) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from happy one minute to major tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is always a key feeling under it

• Many mad children are really scared and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that need to be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Focus on meeting that big need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad because I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s hard since you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if needed.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a big hug and say loudly “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The goal is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following example … Picky Eater In Toddlers

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to receive from our child, we have to agree to give before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative and sarcastic to my young adult simply due to the fact that I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to give respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or father, you can set the example as well as show your young adult that you value their viewpoint, and also you appreciate them as an individual. Picky Eater In Toddlers

This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of problems. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with even more respect, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Picky Eater In Toddlers

Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.


Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …

Just the other day, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to fix the problem. And yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? Picky Eater In Toddlers

Because we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to resolve disputes, and also even how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, as well as model the habits we desire, you would be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his two teenage boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.


How can you become a positive parent? Picky Eater In Toddlers

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be tough to change your old parenting style. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you’ve transformed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I advise anyone that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mother or father to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Picky Eater In Toddlers

You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her materials have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her complimentary webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button below. Picky Eater In Toddlers


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