When I first came to be a mother, I knew that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they really did not have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
There were a couple of books on our shelf about dealing with power struggles, just how to control the strong-willed child, as well as how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”
I’m uncertain exactly what they discovered in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.
It was a tough number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to recognize that, while nobody is without fault, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to break the cycle when I became a mama.Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first daughter was born. I began checking out blogs about how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, screaming, harsh punishments as well as basically every other commonly approved parenting technique.
I began to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs satisfied. I learned about:
• Resolving power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these concepts lead to healthy child development Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
During my learning experience, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand just how being the “mean dad” may seem to work for the moment. In the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was intended to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Considering his history and learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
Let me tell you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Overlooking major misbehavior
• Giving your children everything they ask for Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the truth that cooperation always generates far better lasting results than strict control.
Moms and dads who embrace this design have learned to foster:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?
• Recommendation that both children and parents need to be heard and valued
• Encouraging kids to develop self-control
• Going much deeper than mere exterior conformity and focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not imagine that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also yelling. That’s how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to countless moms and dads, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online course.
Right here are a couple of the techniques Amy shares to assist you to evolve into the mama or dad you have actually always intended to be, and help your child to reach his/her highest potential.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s frequently easier (as well as more typical in today’s society) to think children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.
But we can progress a lot more toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs just like you and me. And also often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that makes it possible for self-discipline) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. So instead of fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a primary emotion below it
• Many mad children are in fact anxious and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that have to be addressed first. As an example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on addressing that big need first.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly upset because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I understand it’s tough since you genuinely want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T want the child to do just makes the circumstance worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The goal is to allow him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you previously that positive parenting benefits all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our following example … Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to obtain from our child, we have to be ready to give. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen just since I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?
It is a lot easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or dad, you can set the example and show your young adult that you value their opinion, and also you appreciate them as a person. Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
This does not mean you need to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind when faced with conflict. It will accomplish more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer support associate on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …
Just recently, my 2 girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the swiped sticker label, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and also started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anyone to resolve the conflict. And yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You know why? Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
Because we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to solve conflict, and also even how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and also model the actions we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors may be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually started parenting positively also, and the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.
So how can you become a positive parent? Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to transform your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually changed, together with the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I suggest anybody who is serious about becoming a much more positive mama or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares how to help kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the free class by clicking the button shown below. Positive Parent Letter From Teacher
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