Preschool Pros And Cons – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Behave

Preschool Pros And Cons
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mommy, I recognized that I wished to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, but they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. Preschool Pros And Cons

There were a few books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, how to deal with the strong-willed child, as well as just how to get your kids to do what you say. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure what exactly they discovered in those books, but I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a challenging period of time. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Preschool Pros And Cons

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my solution Preschool Pros And Cons

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I began checking out material regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, shouting, extreme punishments as well as practically every other typically accepted parenting strategy.

I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs met. I learned about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• How every one of these ideas cause healthy child development Preschool Pros And Cons

Preschool Pros And Cons

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought his own unique perspective. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” might appear to benefit for the moment. Long-term, it was just breeding disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Given his history as well as discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and implementing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Preschool Pros And Cons

First, let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Disregarding major misbehavior

• Offering your children whatever they ask for Preschool Pros And Cons

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the fact that cooperation consistently generates better lasting results than forced control.

Moms and dads who adopt this design have figured out how to foster:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character and morals

Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Besides, what takes place when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Helping kids to grow their self-control

• Going deeper than plain outside conformity and also focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were various other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s exactly how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no framework for anything different. Preschool Pros And Cons

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Below are a couple of the techniques Amy shares to help you to evolve into the mother or dad you’ve always wanted to be, and also assist your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Identify the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep. It’s often simpler (as well as extra usual in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

Yet we can progress a great deal further toward resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you as well as me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Preschool Pros And Cons

A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet matured. That implies they can go from happy one moment to complete meltdown the next. Rather than fighting a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a main feeling below it

• The majority of upset children are really scared and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that should be addressed first. For instance, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.

• Acknowledge his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult because you really wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the circumstance even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The intent is to enable him to share his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting benefits all ages – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our following scenario … Preschool Pros And Cons

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we intend to receive from our child, we must be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my young adult just since I “have every right since I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?

It is much easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the standard and also communicate to your teen that you value their point of view, and also you value them as an individual. Preschool Pros And Cons

This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. It does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Preschool Pros And Cons

Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer service representative on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this one with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual recollection …

Just the other day, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and also she said she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to gather her thoughts, then returned and also returned the stolen sticker label, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any individual to resolve the conflict. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? Preschool Pros And Cons

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to resolve disputes, and even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the actions we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be curious about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 teenage sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

Just how can you become a positive parent? Preschool Pros And Cons

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be difficult to change your old ways. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And also a year or more from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually altered, along with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest anybody who is serious about becoming an extra positive mother or daddy to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Preschool Pros And Cons

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her products have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely apply every day.

In her free webinar, Amy shares just how to get kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also discover how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the free class by clicking the button shown below. Preschool Pros And Cons


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