Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Behave

Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mama, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the best they could, yet they really did not have access to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning taking care of power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My parents don’t understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure exactly what they learned in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of screaming, and a great deal of just plain losing control.

It was a difficult number of years. And our connection is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to understand that, while no person is perfect, it is our obligation to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mother.Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

My own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I started reading blog posts concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, harsh punishments and also virtually every other commonly approved parenting strategy.

I began to think, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these principles cause healthy child development Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

In the process, my other half Antonio joined my journey. Yet he brought a different viewpoint. He had two teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may appear to help for the moment. But long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was intended to be a caring parent-child connection.

Considering his background as well as finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as applying positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyway? Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

Let me tell you what it doesn’t suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Overlooking significant wrongdoing

• Giving your children every little thing they want Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “the real world”

• Having no restrictions

You may see positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method identifies the reality that cooperation consistently generates far better long-lasting outcomes than harsh control.

Moms and dads who embrace this design have learned to foster:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character traits

Helping children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what happens when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Recommendation that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-restraint

• Going much deeper than plain external compliance and focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments as well as yelling. That’s how I was parented, and therefore I simply had no understanding about anything different. Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line course.

Right here are a number of the methods Amy shares to help you to evolve into the mommy or dad you have actually always wished to be, and help your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Identify the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s commonly easier (and extra common in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

However we can progress a lot further towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs similar to you as well as me. And also frequently their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

As an example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from joyful one moment to major meltdown the next. So instead of battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a main emotion under it

• Many mad children are actually frightened and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be met first. As an example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on addressing that big need initially.

• Validate his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset since I said we could not go to the park today. I recognize it’s difficult due to the fact that you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if necessary.

• Concentrating more on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to permit him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.

Keep In Mind the Golden Rule

I told you earlier that positive parenting helps every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s use teenagers in our next scenario … Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to receive from our child, we need to want to offer before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, controlling and also sarcastic to my young adult simply since I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example and communicate to your teenager that you value their point of view, and also you appreciate them as a person. Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teen to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer care associate on the phone? In each of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this with a definite “Yes!” Or I could share an individual recollection …

Just recently, my two girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and also requested forgiveness.

They made up, hugged as well as begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anyone to fix the problem. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

Since we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to settle disputes, as well as even exactly how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would certainly be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his 2 teen sons from a previous marriage. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, and the repair of their connection is nothing short of miraculous.

So how can you become a positive parent? Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever before done. I will not lie to you – it can be challenging to transform your old parenting style. Yet bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you won’t think how much you have actually altered, together with the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest anyone that is serious about becoming a much more positive mother or daddy to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her products have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. Quotes About Parenting A Strong Willed Child


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