Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut – Exactly How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Behave

Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially became a mother, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best they could, yet they really did not have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

There were a few books on our shelf regarding handling power struggles, exactly how to control the stubborn child, and just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m unsure exactly what they learned in those books, but I grew up with a lot of spanking, a lot of yelling, and also a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a challenging period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I’ve truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually begun to realize that, while no person is without fault, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mama.Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest daughter was born. I began reviewing blog posts regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, screaming, harsh punishments as well as practically every other traditionally approved parenting method.

I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that enable every person to get their needs fulfilled. I discovered:

• Problem-solving

• Solving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these concepts lead to healthy and balanced child development Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had observed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to work temporarily. Yet in the long run, it was just fostering disrespect, anger and bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child relationship.

Given his history and learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and employing positive parenting in our lives.

So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

Initially, let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Ignoring major wrongdoing

• Providing your children whatever they ask for Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Sheltering your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no restrictions

You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the fact that cooperation consistently yields far better long-lasting results than strict control.

Moms and dads who embrace this concept have learned to foster:

• Common respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy boundaries

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re adults and the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children and also parents need to be heard and also valued

• Encouraging kids to develop self-control

• Going much deeper than plain exterior conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first started on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t imagine that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and screaming. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and therefore I obviously had no understanding about anything different. Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has served as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Here are a couple of the strategies Amy reveals to encourage you to come to be the mom or father you have actually always wished to be, and assist your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Identify the root of the acting out

I mentioned this is deep. It’s commonly widely accepted (and more usual in today’s society) to presume children are just spoiled brats, and that is why they act out.

Yet we can progress a lot farther towards fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you and me. And also many times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re at on the brain and language development growth spectrum. Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

For example, a 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that allows self-discipline) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from delighted one moment to major meltdown the next. Instead of fighting a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a main emotion under it

• The majority of mad children are really anxious and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that should be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Concentrate on meeting that huge need initially.

• Empathize with his feelings without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset because I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s hard since you truly wish to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Focusing more on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a large hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into fists and growl. The objective is to allow him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting helps any age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our following scenario … Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we intend to get from our child, we have to agree to offer first. If I am impolite, controlling and sarcastic to my teenager merely because I “have every right considering that I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or father, you can set the example and also show your teenager that you value their point of view, and you value them as an individual. Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

This does not mean you need to be a pushover. But it does indicate you can be kind despite conflict. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make certain that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just the other day, my 2 young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the swiped sticker, said sorry and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and begun playing again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any individual to settle the problem. And yet we experienced a stunning resolution. You recognize why? Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

Due to the fact that we have actually modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to deal with disputes, as well as even just how to apologize. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everyone around us with respect, and also model the actions we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some readers may be curious about my spouse, Antonio, and his two teen boys from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has begun parenting positively too, and the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

So exactly how can you come to be a positive parent? Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be hard to alter your old parenting style. However little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or more from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve transformed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest any individual who is serious about becoming an extra positive mother or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her products have been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her free class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary class by clicking the button below. Reasonable Discipline Kids Connecticut


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