Screen Time And Toddlers – Just How I Chose Positive Parenting to At Long Last Get My Kids to Listen

Screen Time And Toddlers
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mama, I recognized that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, however they really did not have access to the variety of positive parenting tools available today. Screen Time And Toddlers

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning taking care of power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to comply. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I definitely remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, however I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain losing control.

It was a difficult number of years. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I have actually come to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our responsibility to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Screen Time And Toddlers

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my approach Screen Time And Toddlers

My own experience with positive parenting began when my first little girl was born. I began checking out blogs about just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed by spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and also pretty much every other traditionally approved parenting technique.

I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to get their needs met. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Handling power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how all of these principles result in healthy and balanced child development Screen Time And Toddlers

Screen Time And Toddlers

In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had actually observed firsthand how being the “mean dad” could seem to help temporarily. Yet long-term, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child partnership.

Considering his history and learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying as well as employing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Screen Time And Toddlers

First, let me inform you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Ignoring significant misbehavior

• Offering your children whatever they want Screen Time And Toddlers

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no restrictions

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach acknowledges the truth that cooperation consistently yields better long-term outcomes than harsh control.

Parents that adopt this concept have actually learned to cultivate:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy limits

• Developing a child’s fundamental character and morals

Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of punishment if they do not … After all, what happens as soon as they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is over?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued

• Encouraging kids to grow their self-control

• Going deeper than plain exterior conformity and focusing on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s just how I was raised, and I simply had no framework for anything different. Screen Time And Toddlers

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.

Right here are a number of the strategies Amy teaches to assist you to evolve into the mommy or daddy you’ve always wished to be, and also assist your child to reach his/her highest potential.

Get to the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s often widely accepted (as well as more usual in today’s society) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can progress a great deal more towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs similar to you and also me. And often times their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and language development spectrum. Screen Time And Toddlers

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to complete tantrum the next. Rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is typically a primary emotion below it

• Many mad children are in fact scared and/or very sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any fundamental needs that must be addressed first. As an example, if a child is hungry or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that huge need initially.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s tough because you really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not let you do it”) … After that, move away to protect yourself if required.

• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to enable him to express his sadness in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s use young adults in our next example … Screen Time And Toddlers

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to receive from our child, we need to want to offer first. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen merely since I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?

It is much easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or daddy, you can set the standard and communicate to your teen that you value their viewpoint, as well as you value them as a person. Screen Time And Toddlers

This does not imply you have to be a pushover. Yet it does indicate you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will certainly accomplish a lot more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we want our teenager to treat us with more regard, the primary step is to see to it that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Screen Time And Toddlers

Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be considering. Keep in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with a definite “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just recently, my two girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and also started playing once again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate any person to settle the problem. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You know why? Screen Time And Toddlers

Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, exactly how to fix disputes, and even just how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everyone around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.

Some visitors could be wondering about my husband, Antonio, and his 2 adolescent sons from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing except a miracle.

So exactly how can you become a positive parent? Screen Time And Toddlers

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to transform your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or more from now, you will not believe how much you’ve transformed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I recommend any individual that is serious about coming to be a much more positive mama or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Screen Time And Toddlers

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.

In her complimentary class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or shouting. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Screen Time And Toddlers


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