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When I first came to be a mama, I recognized that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best job they could, yet they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools offered today. Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
There were a few books on our shelf about dealing with power struggles, just how to discipline the strong-willed child, and also just how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not sure exactly what they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, as well as a great deal of just plain losing control.
It was a challenging number of years. And our connection is still not the best today, although I have truly forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to recognize that, while no one is perfect, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I intended to break the cycle when I came to be a mom.Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
My own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest little girl was born. I began reviewing blog posts about exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as basically every other traditionally approved parenting technique.
I started to believe, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to have their needs fulfilled. I found out about:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• How every one of these ideas cause healthy and balanced child development Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. However he brought a different perspective. He had two teen boys from a previous relationship, and had actually witnessed firsthand just how being the “mean dad” could seem to benefit for the moment. Long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was intended to be a caring parent-child connection.
Given his history as well as finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and implementing positive parenting in our lives.
What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
First, let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant misbehavior
• Giving your children every little thing they want Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the reality that cooperation always yields much better lasting results than forced control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have figured out how to cultivate:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries
• Developing a child’s foundational character and morals
• Encouraging children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not since they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be heard and valued
• Helping kids to establish self-discipline
• Going much deeper than plain outward conformity as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and I simply had no framework for anything different. Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to thousands of moms and dads, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Discover the root of the acting out
I mentioned this is deep. It’s typically widely accepted (and also a lot more usual in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
We can get a whole lot further towards resolving power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs similar to you and me. As well as often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from delighted one moment to complete tantrum the next. Rather than combating a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Young children have little self-discipline to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a key emotion underneath it
• Most upset children are actually anxious and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that should be addressed initially. For instance, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Focus on addressing that big need initially.
• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re truly angry since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I recognize it’s hard due to the fact that you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into fists and also growl. The intent is to permit him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you previously that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and also everything in between. So let’s use young adults in our following example … Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to receive from our child, we have to agree to give first. If I am rude, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my teenager just since I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my child started it,” what do you assume that reveals to my child?
It is a lot easier to give respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or father, you can set the standard as well as show your teen that you value their opinion, as well as you appreciate them as an individual. Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
This doesn’t suggest you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of conflict. It will accomplish more than you realize to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.
In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer care rep on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can address this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share an individual story …
Just a few days ago, my two girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, as well as she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that returned as well as returned the swiped sticker, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anyone to deal with the problem. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, how to resolve disputes, as well as even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat everybody around us with respect, as well as model the behavior we desire, you would be amazed at what’s possible.
Some readers could be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his two teenage sons from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
How can you evolve to be a positive parent? Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I won’t lie to you – it can be hard to alter your old parenting style. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually transformed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I suggest any person that is serious about growing to be an extra positive mom or dad to take a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her products have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents across the globe, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of any age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, and also learn how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary class by clicking the button shown below. Sensory Processing Disorder Adults Medication
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