Suicide Watch Hospital – Just How I Applied Positive Parenting to Once And For All Get My Kids to Behave

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HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mother, I understood that I wanted to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mom and dad did the best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the plethora of positive parenting tools offered today. Suicide Watch Hospital

There were a few books on our bookshelf about taking care of power struggles, just how to control the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My parents do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, however I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a challenging number of years. And also our relationship is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve come to understand that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to break the cycle when I became a mother.Suicide Watch Hospital

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Suicide Watch Hospital

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I started reading blogs concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, screaming, severe punishments as well as virtually every other traditionally accepted parenting method.

I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to pay attention to you?” Little did I understand there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everybody to get their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Just how every one of these concepts result in healthy child development Suicide Watch Hospital

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Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had observed firsthand how being the “mean dad” could seem to work for the moment. In the long run, it was only promoting disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.

Considering his history and also discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Suicide Watch Hospital

Let me tell you what it doesn’t indicate. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Overlooking significant misbehavior

• Providing your children whatever they want Suicide Watch Hospital

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no limitations

You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the truth that cooperation always produces better long-term results than forced control.

Moms and dads who adopt this concept have actually figured out how to foster:

• Mutual respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Establishing healthy and balanced boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character traits

Assisting children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what occurs as soon as they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued

• Helping kids to establish self-discipline

• Going deeper than mere outside compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the path of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other ways to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also yelling. That’s how I was parented, and I simply had no understanding about anything different. Suicide Watch Hospital

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and creator of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to thousands of mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.

Right here are a number of the strategies Amy shares to assist you to become the mother or daddy you’ve always wished to be, and also encourage your child to reach his/her complete potential.

Get to the root of the behavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s typically easier (and more common in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

Yet we can progress a lot farther toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs much like you as well as me. And often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. Suicide Watch Hospital

For instance, a young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-restraint) is not yet formed. That suggests they can go from joyful one minute to major meltdown the next. Rather than battling a losing battle by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a main feeling underneath it

• The majority of angry children are in fact scared and/or very sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that must be addressed first. For instance, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on addressing that huge need initially.

• Acknowledge his feelings without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry since I said we could not go to the park today. I know it’s hard due to the fact that you genuinely really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into clenched fists and also growl. The objective is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for every age – from toddlers to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our next scenario … Suicide Watch Hospital

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we want to obtain from our child, we should be willing to offer first. If I am discourteous, controlling and also sarcastic to my young adult simply due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or because “my child started it,” what do you think that teaches my child?

It is a lot easier to give respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or dad, you can set the standard as well as communicate to your teen that you value their viewpoint, and you value them as a person. Suicide Watch Hospital

This doesn’t indicate you have to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you realize to set the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children grow a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teenager to treat us with more respect, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. Suicide Watch Hospital

Are you kind to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service associate on the phone? In every one of those situations, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …

Just recently, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she stated she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and returned the stolen sticker, said sorry as well as requested forgiveness.

They made up, embraced as well as begun playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate any person to resolve the problem. And yet we experienced a peaceful resolution. You recognize why? Suicide Watch Hospital

Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to deal with disputes, and also even how to ask forgiveness. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors might be curious about my partner, Antonio, and also his two teen boys from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has started parenting positively too, and the restoration of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

How can you evolve to be a positive parent? Suicide Watch Hospital

This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is among the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I will not lie to you – it can be hard to alter your old ways. However bit by bit, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think how much you have actually changed, along with the closer relationship you have with your kids.

I advise any person who is serious about growing to be a more positive mama or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Suicide Watch Hospital

You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or yelling. She’ll aid you in beginning parenting positive, and find out how to stop the power struggle before it begins! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Suicide Watch Hospital


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