When I initially became a mom, I understood that I wanted to do things in different ways than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the best job they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the myriad of positive parenting tools available today. Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
There were a couple of books on our shelf regarding taking care of power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, and how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My own parents don’t understand me.”
I’m not sure just what they discovered in those books, yet I grew up with a lot of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and also a lot of just plain losing control.
It was a difficult period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve come to recognize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I began reading articles concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, harsh punishments and also basically every other commonly accepted parenting strategy.
I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everybody to have their needs fulfilled. I learned about:
• Solving power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how every one of these concepts result in healthy child development Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
In the process, my husband Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had actually seen firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” may appear to work temporarily. Long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, anger as well as resentment in what was supposed to be a loving parent-child partnership.
Considering his history and also finding out specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and also applying positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyhow? Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
Let me inform you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a passive parent
• Disregarding major wrongdoing
• Giving your children every little thing they ask for Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limitations
You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting approach identifies the truth that collaboration always generates far better long-lasting results than harsh control.
Moms and dads that embrace this concept have figured out how to cultivate:
• Common respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Setting healthy limits
• Building a child’s foundational character and morals
• Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they do not … Besides, what occurs when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-discipline
• Going deeper than plain outward conformity and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you actually dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the path of gentle parenting, I couldn’t envision that there were various other means to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s exactly how I was raised, and therefore I obviously had no framework for anything different. Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Below are a number of the strategies Amy teaches to assist you to come to be the mommy or father you have actually always wished to be, and encourage your child to reach his/her highest potential.
Identify the root of the behavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s usually much easier (and also a lot more common in today’s world) to think children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.
Yet we can progress a whole lot more toward fixing power struggles when we see children as little people. They have needs similar to you and also me. And many times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that allows self-restraint) is not yet developed. That means they can go from cloud nine one minute to major meltdown the next. So instead of battling a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Toddlers have little self-discipline to start with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is typically a key emotion beneath it
• Many mad children are actually scared and/or sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be met first. For instance, if a child is starving or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to help. Focus on meeting that large need first.
• Validate his feelings without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely mad due to the fact that I said we could not go to the park today. I know it’s tough since you really wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, so I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if needed.
• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T want the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and also say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands into fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers as well as everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our next scenario … Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we want to get from our child, we should want to provide before anyone else. If I am impolite, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teenager simply because I “have every right given that I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my kid started it,” what do you believe that teaches my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mommy or dad, you can set the example and show your teen that you value their opinion, and you value them as an individual. Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
This does not mean you need to be a pushover. But it does indicate you can be kind when faced with problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our teen to treat us with more regard, the initial step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer service associate on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you need to be thinking about. Remember, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …
Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the swiped sticker label, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and also started playing once again gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or intimidate anybody to resolve the conflict. And yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
Because we have actually modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, just how to settle disputes, as well as even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will undoubtedly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everybody around us with respect, and model the behavior we desire, you would be astonished at what’s feasible.
Some visitors might be wondering about my partner, Antonio, as well as his 2 adolescent sons from a previous relationship. Over time, Antonio has started parenting positively as well, and also the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.
So how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to change your old ways. Little by little, you will certainly make improvements. As well as a year or two from now, you won’t think just how much you’ve transformed, in addition to the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend anyone who is serious about coming to be a more positive mommy or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of number of media channels. Her products have actually been life-changing for greater than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, as well as there’s no better parenting guidance you can absolutely use every day.
In her cost-free class, Amy shares exactly how to help kids of every age to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the cost-free webinar by clicking the button below. Teach Your Son How To Treat A Woman
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