Toddler Bites When Excited – Just How I Used Positive Parenting to Ultimately Get My Kids to Behave

Toddler Bites When Excited
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I initially came to be a mommy, I knew that I intended to do things in a different way than how I was parented. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the variety of positive parenting tools available today. Toddler Bites When Excited

There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning managing power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around the house, and I noticeably remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad don’t understand me.”

I’m uncertain just what they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a difficult period of time. And also our connection is still not the best today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to understand that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I wanted to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Toddler Bites When Excited

From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my answer Toddler Bites When Excited

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my first child was born. I began reviewing blogs regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged with spanking, shouting, severe punishments and pretty much every other generally approved parenting strategy.

I began to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to have their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Strong communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these principles bring about healthy child development Toddler Bites When Excited

Toddler Bites When Excited

During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and also had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean dad” could seem to benefit for the moment. Long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, contempt and also bitterness in what was meant to be a caring parent-child connection.

Given his history and learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to studying and employing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting mean anyhow? Toddler Bites When Excited

Let me inform you what it doesn’t mean. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to run wild

• Being a passive parent

• Overlooking major wrongdoing

• Giving your children whatever they want Toddler Bites When Excited

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will be required of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You may see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the truth that cooperation always generates much better lasting results than harsh control.

Moms and dads that adopt this design have figured out how to foster:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Establishing healthy boundaries

• Building a child’s foundational character and morals

Encouraging children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they are afraid of retribution if they don’t … Nevertheless, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Recommendation that both children as well as parents need to be listened to as well as valued

• Helping kids to develop self-restraint

• Going much deeper than simple external conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially began on the journey of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides punishing as well as yelling. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and therefore I just had no understanding about anything different. Toddler Bites When Excited

I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-known parenting expert and founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually served as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line program.

Below are a number of the techniques Amy teaches to help you to come to be the mother or daddy you’ve always wanted to be, and help your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Identify the root of the acting out

I told you this is deep. It’s often easier (and also more common in today’s world) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, which is why they act out.

However we can get a great deal farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs much like you and me. And frequently their legitimate needs are magnified based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. Toddler Bites When Excited

A 2-year-old’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one minute to complete tantrum the next. Rather than combating a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Young children have little self-restraint to start with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that implies there is always a primary feeling under it

• Many angry children are really anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of fundamental needs that should be addressed first. For example, if a child is hungry or exhausted, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to help. Concentrate on meeting that large need first.

• Empathize with his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry because I said we couldn’t play at the park today. I know it’s hard due to the fact that you truly really want to play on the swings. However, hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he is OK to do to let off steam when he’s mad – like surround himself in a big hug and say firmly “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to permit him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting benefits any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our following example … Toddler Bites When Excited

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That suggests what we desire to obtain from our child, we have to be willing to provide. If I am discourteous, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager simply since I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?

It is a lot easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mommy or daddy, you can set the standard and also show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, as well as you value them as a person. Toddler Bites When Excited

This doesn’t suggest you need to be a pushover. It does mean you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.

In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we desire our teen to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make certain you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everybody in your life. Toddler Bites When Excited

Are you kind to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, as well as to the customer service associate on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be thinking about. Bear in mind, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can address this one with a resounding “Yes!” Or I can share a personal recollection …

Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a squabble. I asked my 3-year-old how she felt, and also she said she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to gather her thoughts, after that came back and also returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, embraced and started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten any individual to fix the conflict. As well as yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Toddler Bites When Excited

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, how to settle conflict, and even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will certainly repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with every person around us with respect, and model the behavior we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.

Some visitors could be curious about my partner, Antonio, and also his two adolescent boys from a previous marriage. Over time, Antonio has begun parenting positively also, and the restoration of their connection is nothing except miraculous.

So just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? Toddler Bites When Excited

This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to alter your old ways. But little by little, you will certainly make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe how much you have actually altered, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I suggest any person who is serious about becoming a more positive mommy or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Toddler Bites When Excited

You have actually most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can really use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares how to help kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll assist you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free class by clicking the button shown below. Toddler Bites When Excited


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