Transgender Children Stories – Exactly How I Applied Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Listen

Transgender Children Stories
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first became a mama, I understood that I wished to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have accessibility to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. Transgender Children Stories

There were a couple of books on our shelf about taking care of power struggles, exactly how to discipline the stubborn child, as well as just how to get your kids to obey. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I noticeably recall thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”

I’m not exactly sure what exactly they found out in those books, yet I grew up with a great deal of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a great deal of just plain blowing up.

It was a difficult period of time. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I’ve begun to realize that, while no one is without flaws, it is our duty to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I understood I intended to stop the cycle when I came to be a mom.Transgender Children Stories

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my plan Transgender Children Stories

My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I started checking out blog posts concerning just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, yelling, extreme punishments and also virtually every other typically approved parenting technique.

I started to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to do what you ask?” Little did I know there’s an entire tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs satisfied. I found out about:

• Problem-solving

• Resolving power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how all of these principles bring about healthy child development Transgender Children Stories

Transgender Children Stories

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. He brought a different viewpoint. He had 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” may seem to benefit for the moment. In the long run, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.

Given his history and discovering specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to researching and following through with positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyway? Transgender Children Stories

Let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want

• Being a passive parent

• Overlooking major misbehavior

• Offering your children whatever they want Transgender Children Stories

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Safeguarding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”

• Having no boundaries

You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting technique recognizes the fact that cooperation consistently yields much better lasting results than harsh control.

Moms and dads that embrace this design have learned to promote:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)

• Setting healthy limits

• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities

Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear retribution if they don’t … After all, what takes place when they’re adults and the threat of punishment is removed?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard and also valued

• Assisting kids to establish self-restraint

• Going deeper than simple outward conformity as well as concentrating on the child’s heart

The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff resolves itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started down the road of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and shouting. That’s just how I was treated as a child, and I simply had no framework for anything different. Transgender Children Stories

I’ll share some parenting strategies I learned from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Right here are a number of the methods Amy shares to help you to become the mommy or daddy you’ve always wanted to be, and encourage your child to reach his or her highest potential.

Get to the root of the behavior

I told you this is deep stuff. It’s frequently much easier (and also a lot more common in today’s world) to assume children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.

We can get a lot farther toward solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They have needs just like you as well as me. As well as most times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re currently at on the brain and also language development spectrum. Transgender Children Stories

A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet developed. That indicates they can go from joyful one moment to major meltdown the next. So instead of combating a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary feeling – that means there is always a primary emotion beneath it

• Most mad children are really frightened and/or sad

So what’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any kind of basic needs that have to be addressed initially. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Concentrate on addressing that big need initially.

• Validate his emotions without accepting the actions (“I can see that you’re truly mad since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s tough since you truly really want to play on the swings. Yet, hitting hurts, and I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if necessary.

• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and say loudly “I’m mad!” Or ball his hands right into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to permit him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any individual or anything.

Remember the Golden Rule

I told you previously that positive parenting works for any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everything in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our next example … Transgender Children Stories

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That indicates what we intend to get from our child, we should want to give first. If I am impolite, manipulative as well as sarcastic to my young adult just due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that communicates to my child?

It is a lot easier to provide respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mama or dad, you can set the standard and also communicate to your young adult that you value their viewpoint, as well as you respect them as a person. Transgender Children Stories

This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. Yet it does mean you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. If we want our teenager to treat us with more respect, the initial step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. Transgender Children Stories

Are you gentle to your spouse, to your siblings, to all your children, and also to the customer support associate on the phone? In each of those scenarios, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I can answer this with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I can share a personal story …

Just a few days ago, my two young girls were having a spat. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, and also she claimed she was angry since my 6-year-old took a sticker she was having fun with.

My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back and returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or threaten anybody to settle the conflict. And yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You know why? Transgender Children Stories

Because we have modeled for our children just how to problem solve, just how to settle conflict, and even just how to say sorry. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat everybody around us with respect, as well as model the actions we desire, you would certainly be astonished at what’s possible.

Some visitors may be wondering about my partner, Antonio, and his two teen sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and the repair of their connection is nothing short of a miracle.

How can you come to be a positive parent? Transgender Children Stories

This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I have actually ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be challenging to alter your old parenting style. Little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not think how much you have actually changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.

I suggest any person that is serious about growing to be a much more positive mom or father to look into Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. Transgender Children Stories

You’ve possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of variety of media channels. Her products have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 moms and dads around the world, and also there’s no much better parenting guidance you can truly apply every day.

In her free class, Amy shares how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll help you in beginning parenting positive, and learn how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. Transgender Children Stories


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