When I initially came to be a mommy, I recognized that I intended to do things in different ways than how I was raised. My mother and father did the best job they could, but they didn’t have access to the plethora of positive parenting tools readily available today. Two Year Old Cries All The Time
There were a couple of books on our shelf concerning taking care of power struggles, how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as exactly how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure what exactly they discovered in those books, yet I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of yelling, as well as a great deal of just plain losing control.
It was a hard number of years. And our relationship is still strained today, although I’ve genuinely forgiven them for their mistakes. I have actually begun to realize that, while no person is without flaws, it is our obligation to be the very best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I intended to stop the cycle when I became a mom.Two Year Old Cries All The Time
From toddlers to teens, positive parenting is my strategy Two Year Old Cries All The Time
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began reading material concerning how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged through spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as virtually every other commonly approved parenting strategy.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can not do those things, how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole tool kit of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs satisfied. I discovered:
• Managing power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Exactly how all of these ideas result in healthy child development Two Year Old Cries All The Time
Along the way, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. But he brought a different point of view. He had 2 teen boys from a previous marriage, and had actually witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might seem to help temporarily. But long-term, it was only fostering disrespect, contempt as well as bitterness in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.
Considering his history and learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was equally as open as I was to studying and also implementing positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting mean anyway? Two Year Old Cries All The Time
Let me inform you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Ignoring major wrongdoing
• Giving your children every little thing they ask for Two Year Old Cries All The Time
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be required of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You may hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method acknowledges the fact that cooperation always produces much better lasting results than harsh control.
Parents that adopt this concept have actually figured out how to cultivate:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves and in their children)
• Establishing healthy and balanced limits
• Developing a child’s foundational character qualities
• Helping children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not since they are afraid of punishment if they don’t … Nevertheless, what takes place when they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard and valued
• Encouraging kids to establish self-discipline
• Going much deeper than simple external compliance as well as focusing on the child’s heart
The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I first began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t believe that there were other techniques to “get a child to behave” besides punishing and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was parented, and I just had no framework for anything different. Two Year Old Cries All The Time
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert and also founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually functioned as parenting guide to 75,000+ moms and dads, helping them eliminate the power struggle of reactionary parenting through her 7-Step Parenting Success System online training course.
Below are a couple of the methods Amy reveals to assist you to evolve into the mama or father you have actually always intended to be, as well as help your child to reach his/her highest potential.
Find the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep stuff. It’s usually much easier (and extra common in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
But we can get a whole lot more toward addressing power struggles when we see children as little people. They real needs similar to you and me. And often times their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. Two Year Old Cries All The Time
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-discipline) is not yet matured. That indicates they can go from delighted one minute to major meltdown the next. Rather than fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for hitting you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that suggests there is typically a primary emotion underneath it
• Most angry children are in fact scared and/or very sad
What’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any kind of fundamental needs that need to be met first. As an example, if a child is starving or tired, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that big need initially.
• Empathize with his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely angry since I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s hard since you genuinely really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I won’t allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to safeguard yourself if required.
• Concentrating way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a huge hug and say “I’m mad!” Or tighten his hands right into fists and also growl. The objective is to allow him to express his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anybody or anything.
Bear In Mind the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting works for any age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our following example … Two Year Old Cries All The Time
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That means what we wish to get from our child, we must be willing to provide before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teen just due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to offer respect to a person when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the standard as well as show your teenager that you value their viewpoint, as well as you value them as an individual. Two Year Old Cries All The Time
This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. Yet it does indicate you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving together toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we claim to believe. So, if we desire our teenager to treat us with even more regard, the very first step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everybody in your life. Two Year Old Cries All The Time
Are you gentle to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, as well as to the customer care representative on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you have to be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I can answer this question with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share a personal recollection …
Just a few days ago, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old just how she really felt, as well as she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was having fun with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then returned as well as returned the stolen sticker, apologized as well as asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged as well as started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or intimidate any individual to solve the dispute. And yet we experienced a pretty nice resolution. You know why? Two Year Old Cries All The Time
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to deal with disputes, and also even exactly how to say sorry. That’s right – we say sorry to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Apologize to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you realize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, deal with everybody around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s possible.
Some visitors might be curious about my partner, Antonio, as well as his two teenage sons from a previous marriage. In time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and also the repair of their connection is nothing except miraculous.
Just how can you become a positive parent? Two Year Old Cries All The Time
This is the million-dollar question! Discovering positive parenting is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you – it can be hard to alter your old ways. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or two from now, you will not believe how much you have actually changed, in addition to the closer relationship you have with your kids.
I recommend anybody who is serious about coming to be an extra positive mama or dad to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. Two Year Old Cries All The Time
You have actually probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any variety of media networks. Her products have been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really apply every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to get kids of every age to listen WITHOUT manipulating or shouting. She’ll aid you in starting parenting positive, as well as find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button below. Two Year Old Cries All The Time
Disclosure: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.