What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development – How I Used Positive Parenting to Finally Get My Kids to Cooperate

What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development
HAZEL DEAN
Wife to Antonio, and mommy of two girls

When I first came to be a mother, I understood that I intended to do things differently than how I was brought up. My mother and father did the very best they could, yet they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools available today. What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

There were a couple of books on our bookshelf regarding handling power struggles, just how to deal with the stubborn child, as well as how to get your kids to obey. I recall seeing these books around our home, and I distinctly recall thinking at the time, “My own mom and dad do not understand me.”

I’m uncertain what exactly they found out in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a lot of yelling, and a lot of just plain blowing up.

It was a challenging number of years. And our relationship is still not the best today, although I have genuinely forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to realize that, while nobody is perfect, it is our obligation to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I came to be a mama.What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my approach What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

My very own experience with positive parenting began when my oldest child was born. I began checking out blogs regarding just how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed through spanking, screaming, harsh punishments and also practically every other commonly approved parenting method.

I began to believe, “Well, if you can’t do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I realize there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow everyone to have their needs met. I learned more about:

• Problem-solving

• Dealing with power struggles

• Solid communication skills

• Natural consequences

• Exactly how every one of these principles lead to healthy and balanced child development What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

During my learning experience, my other half Antonio joined my journey. However he brought his own unique point of view. He had two teenage boys from a previous marriage, and had actually observed firsthand just how being the “mean father” may appear to work for the moment. But in the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, contempt and also resentment in what was expected to be a loving parent-child connection.

Considering his history as well as learning precisely what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching and also employing positive parenting in our lives.

What does positive parenting really mean anyhow? What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

First, let me tell you what it does not imply. Positive parenting is NOT:

• Letting your kids do whatever they want

• Being a lazy parent

• Disregarding significant wrongdoing

• Giving your children whatever they ask for What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

• Being a servant on-call 24/7

• Shielding your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “real life”

• Having no boundaries

You might see positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method recognizes the fact that collaboration consistently produces much better long-lasting outcomes than strict control.

Parents that embrace this concept have figured out how to cultivate:

• Shared respect

• Empathy (both in themselves and also in their children)

• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries

• Developing a child’s fundamental character qualities

Assisting children to do what’s right since they WANT to, not because they are afraid of retribution if they do not … Nevertheless, what occurs when they’re grownups and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?

• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard as well as valued

• Encouraging kids to establish self-discipline

• Going deeper than simple outward conformity and concentrating on the child’s heart

The funny thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.

What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?

When I initially started on the journey of gentle parenting, I could not visualize that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also shouting. That’s just how I was parented, and I just had no understanding about anything different. What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

I’ll share some parenting strategies I picked up from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as founder of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.

Here are a couple of the techniques Amy reveals to help you to evolve into the mother or father you’ve always wanted to be, and encourage your child to reach his or her complete potential.

Get to the root of the misbehavior

I mentioned this is deep. It’s usually simpler (and extra typical in today’s world) to presume children are just spoiled brats, which is why they act out.

We can get a great deal more toward solving power struggles when we see children as little humans. They real needs just like you as well as me. As well as frequently their legitimate needs are amplified based on where they’re at on the brain and also language development growth spectrum. What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

As an example, a toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet matured. That suggests they can go from cloud nine one moment to major tantrum the next. Rather than fighting a losing fight by sending a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:

• Toddlers have little self-control to begin with

• Anger is a secondary emotion – that suggests there is typically a main emotion beneath it

• A lot of mad children are actually anxious and/or sad

What’s a peaceful parent to do?

• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that must be met first. As an example, if a child is starving or worn out, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is likely to remedy the problem. Concentrate on addressing that huge need first.

• Validate his emotions without accepting the misbehavior (“I can see that you’re truly mad because I said we could not play at the park today. I know it’s difficult because you genuinely want to play on the swings. But, hitting hurts, and I won’t let you do it”) … After that, move away to shield yourself if needed.

• Focusing way too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario even worse. So redirect the behavior towards something he CAN do to let off steam when he’s mad – like squeeze himself in a huge hug and say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The point is to enable him to express his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting anyone or anything.

Bear In Mind the Golden Rule

I informed you previously that positive parenting helps every age – from young children to ‘tweens, teens and also everyone in between. So let’s talk about teenagers in our next scenario … What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we desire to obtain from our child, we should be ready to offer. If I am impolite, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teenager simply because I “have every right since I am the parent” or because “my kid started it,” what do you believe that communicates to my child?

It is much easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mama or father, you can set the standard as well as show your teenager that you value their point of view, as well as you appreciate them as a person. What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

This does not suggest you have to be a pushover. However it does indicate you can be kind when faced with disputes. It will accomplish a lot more than you expect to establish the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.

In a comparable way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we desire our young adult to treat us with more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing simply that to everyone in your life. What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

Are you gentle to your partner, to your siblings, to all your children, and to the customer care representative on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you must be thinking about. Keep in mind, the apple won’t fall far from the tree.

Is positive parenting really effective?

I could answer this with a resounding “Yes!” Or I could share an individual story …

Just recently, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, as well as she claimed she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.

My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, after that returned and also returned the swiped sticker, said sorry as well as asked for forgiveness.

They made up, hugged and also started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or threaten any individual to solve the problem. And also yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

Since we have modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to fix conflict, as well as even exactly how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we mess up. (Gasp! Say sorry to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will unavoidably repeat your actions.

The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, as well as model the actions we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.

Some readers might be curious about my hubby, Antonio, and also his 2 teenage boys from a previous relationship. With time, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively too, and the repair of their connection is nothing except a miracle.

Just how can you come to be a positive parent? What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

This is the million-dollar question! Understanding positive parenting is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done. I will not stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old ways. However little by little, you will make improvements. And also a year or two from now, you will not believe just how much you have actually changed, along with the closer partnership you have with your kids.

I recommend anyone that is serious about coming to be an extra positive mama or daddy to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development

You’ve most likely seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any type of variety of media networks. Her products have been life-changing for more than 75,000 moms and dads across the globe, and there’s no better parenting guidance you can truly use every day.

In her cost-free webinar, Amy shares exactly how to get kids of all ages to listen WITHOUT nagging or yelling. She’ll assist you in starting parenting positive, as well as find out how to quit the power struggle before it begins! You can register for the totally free webinar by clicking the button below. What Are The Critical Periods In Brain Development


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