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When I initially became a mom, I understood that I wished to do things differently than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, however they didn’t have access to the wide variety of positive parenting tools readily available today. What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
There were a few books on our shelf concerning handling power struggles, just how to deal with the strong-willed child, and how to get your kids to comply. I recall seeing these books around the house, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My own parents do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure what exactly they discovered in those books, but I experienced a lot of spanking, a great deal of screaming, and also a lot of just plain tempers raging.
It was a tough period of time. And our relationship is still strained today, although I have sincerely forgiven them for their misjudgements. I’ve begun to realize that, while nobody is without flaws, it is our duty to be the best parent we can possibly be for our children. I knew I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mama.What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
My own experience with positive parenting started when my oldest daughter was born. I began checking out blog posts concerning exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is harmed with spanking, shouting, harsh punishments as well as virtually every other traditionally accepted parenting strategy.
I started to assume, “Well, if you can’t do those things, just how in the world do you get obtain your kids to listen to you?” Little did I understand there’s a whole toolbox of positive parenting tips that allow every person to have their needs satisfied. I discovered:
• Dealing with power struggles
• Solid communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these principles bring about healthy and balanced child development What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
During my learning experience, my hubby Antonio joined my journey. He brought his own unique perspective. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and had experienced firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” might appear to benefit for the moment. In the long run, it was just promoting disrespect, anger and also bitterness in what was expected to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Considering his history as well as learning exactly what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to researching as well as following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
Let me inform you what it does not mean. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Allowing your kids to do whatever they want
• Being a lazy parent
• Disregarding significant wrongdoing
• Providing your children whatever they want What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Sheltering your kids from what will certainly be expected of them in “the real world”
• Having no limits
You may hear positive parenting called by various other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. No matter what you call it, this parenting method identifies the reality that collaboration consistently produces much better long-lasting results than strict control.
Parents who embrace this concept have learned to foster:
• Mutual respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced boundaries
• Building a child’s foundational character traits
• Helping children to do what’s right because they WANT to, not due to the fact that they fear punishment if they do not … Besides, what takes place as soon as they’re grownups and the threat of punishment is over?
• Acknowledgment that both children and parents need to be listened to and valued
• Helping kids to grow their self-control
• Going much deeper than simple outside compliance and also concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you really dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I couldn’t visualize that there were various other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and yelling. That’s exactly how I was parented, and I obviously had no framework for anything different. What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a nationally recognized parenting expert and also owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them remove the power struggle of reactionary parenting via her 7-Step Parenting Success System online program.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I told you this is deep. It’s commonly easier (and more usual in today’s society) to think children are simply spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can progress a whole lot further towards addressing power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They real needs just like you and also me. And often times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re currently at on the brain as well as language development spectrum. What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
A young child’s pre-frontal cortex (the part of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet formed. That implies they can go from happy one moment to major tantrum the next. Rather than fighting a losing battle by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can acknowledge that:
• Toddlers have little self-restraint to begin with
• Anger is a secondary feeling – that indicates there is always a primary feeling beneath it
• The majority of upset children are really anxious and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any type of basic needs that should be met initially. As an example, if a child is hungry or sleepy, there’s no amount of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to remedy the problem. Concentrate on meeting that large need initially.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the behavior (“I can see that you’re sincerely upset due to the fact that I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I understand it’s tough because you genuinely wish to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not let you do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if necessary.
• Concentrating too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do just makes the scenario worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like surround himself in a big hug and also say firmly “I am angry!” Or tighten his hands into clenched fists and growl. The intent is to enable him to share his disappointment in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Remember the Golden Rule
I told you earlier that positive parenting helps all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s use teens in our next scenario … What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we desire to get from our child, we need to be eager to give. If I am disrespectful, controlling as well as sarcastic to my teenager simply because I “have every right since I am the parent” or since “my kid started it,” what do you think that reveals to my child?
It is much easier to provide respect to somebody when they are respecting and appreciating you. As the mom or father, you can set the example as well as show your teen that you value their point of view, and you value them as a person. What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
This doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. But it does imply you can be kind in the face of disputes. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to set the stage for problem solving with each other towards a resolution.
In a similar way, children learn a million times more from what we do than from what we say. So, if we desire our teen to treat us with even more respect, the primary step is to make sure that you, as the parent, are doing just that to everyone in your life. What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
Are you gentle to your spouse, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer service rep on the phone? In each of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be thinking of. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just recently, my two daughters were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old exactly how she felt, and also she stated she was angry due to the fact that my 6-year-old took a sticker label she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, went into the other room to collect her thoughts, after that came back as well as returned the stolen sticker, said sorry and also asked for forgiveness.
They made up, hugged and started playing again happily. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not control or manipulate anyone to solve the problem. As well as yet we experienced a lovely resolution. You recognize why? What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
Since we have actually modeled for our children how to problem solve, just how to solve disputes, and even how to say sorry. That’s right – we apologize to our kids when we make a mistake. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you recognize your children will certainly repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can swallow our pride, deal with everyone around us with respect, and also model the actions we want, you would certainly be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be wondering about my hubby, Antonio, as well as his 2 teen boys from a previous relationship. In time, Antonio has begun parenting positively as well, as well as the restoration of their relationship is nothing short of miraculous.
So just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
This is the million-dollar question! Knowing positive parenting is among the most satisfying things I have actually ever done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be tough to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. And a year or 2 from now, you won’t think just how much you have actually changed, together with the closer partnership you have with your kids.
I recommend any person who is serious about becoming a much more positive mama or father to check out Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting class. What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
You have actually possibly seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any number of media channels. Her materials have actually been life-altering for more than 75,000 parents across the globe, and there’s no much better parenting guidance you can really use every day.
In her free class, Amy shares just how to help kids of all ages to behave WITHOUT nagging or screaming. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, as well as find out how to stop the power struggle before it starts! You can sign up for the free webinar by clicking the button below. What Should My Baby Be Doing At 3 Months Old
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. If you go through them to make a purchase, I will earn a commission (at no additional cost to you), which compensates for my time spent to compile this information. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.