When I initially came to be a mother, I knew that I wished to do things in a different way than how I was raised. My mom and dad did the very best they could, however they didn’t have access to the huge selection of positive parenting tools readily available today. What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
There were a couple of books on our bookshelf concerning taking care of power struggles, just how to discipline the stubborn child, and also how to get your kids to do what you say. I remember seeing these books around our home, and I clearly remember thinking at the time, “My mom and dad do not understand me.”
I’m not exactly sure what exactly they learned in those books, however I experienced a great deal of spanking, a great deal of shouting, as well as a lot of just plain blowing up.
It was a difficult number of years. And also our connection is still strained today, although I have truly forgiven them for what happened. I have actually come to understand that, while no one is perfect, it is our duty to be the most effective parent we can possibly be for our children. I recognized I wished to stop the cycle when I became a mother.What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
From toddlers to teenagers, positive parenting is my strategy What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
My own experience with positive parenting started when my first child was born. I began reviewing articles regarding exactly how a child’s secure attachment to a parent is damaged by spanking, screaming, extreme punishments and pretty much every other generally approved parenting method.
I began to think, “Well, if you can not do those things, exactly how in the world do you get obtain your kids to behave?” Little did I know there’s an entire toolbox of positive parenting tips that enable everyone to get their needs fulfilled. I learned more about:
• Managing power struggles
• Strong communication skills
• Natural consequences
• Just how all of these concepts lead to healthy child development What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
Along the way, my other half Antonio joined my journey. But he brought his own unique viewpoint. He had two teenage boys from a previous relationship, and also had actually witnessed firsthand exactly how being the “mean father” could appear to work for the moment. But long-term, it was just fostering disrespect, anger and also resentment in what was meant to be a caring parent-child relationship.
Considering his background and also learning specifically what NOT to do, Antonio was just as open as I was to examining and also following through with positive parenting in our lives.
So what does positive parenting really mean anyhow? What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
Let me tell you what it does not suggest. Positive parenting is NOT:
• Letting your kids run wild
• Being a lazy parent
• Overlooking major misbehavior
• Giving your children whatever they ask for What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
• Being a servant on-call 24/7
• Safeguarding your kids from what will be expected of them in “real life”
• Having no boundaries
You might hear positive parenting called by other names like peaceful parenting, gentle parenting, respectful parenting or connection parenting. Regardless of what you call it, this parenting approach recognizes the reality that cooperation consistently yields far better long-term outcomes than strict control.
Moms and dads who embrace this concept have figured out how to cultivate:
• Shared respect
• Empathy (both in themselves as well as in their children)
• Setting healthy and balanced limits
• Building a child’s fundamental character qualities
• Encouraging children to do what’s right due to the fact that they WANT to, not because they fear retribution if they don’t … Besides, what takes place once they’re adults and also the threat of punishment is eliminated?
• Acknowledgment that both children as well as parents need to be heard and valued
• Assisting kids to establish self-restraint
• Going deeper than simple exterior compliance as well as concentrating on the child’s heart
The amusing thing is, when you truly dig in to the heart issues, all the surface-level “obedience” stuff takes care of itself.
What are some positive parenting techniques? And how do you correct a child’s bad behavior with positive parenting?
When I initially began down the road of gentle parenting, I could not believe that there were other methods to “get a child to behave” besides harsh punishments and also screaming. That’s exactly how I was treated as a child, and I obviously had no understanding about anything different. What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
I’ll share some parenting strategies I gained from Amy McCready, a well-respected parenting expert as well as owner of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy has actually worked as parenting guide to 75,000+ mothers and fathers, helping them get rid of the power struggle of reactionary parenting with her 7-Step Parenting Success System on-line training course.
Discover the root of the misbehavior
I mentioned this is deep stuff. It’s often easier (and more usual in today’s society) to assume children are just spoiled-rotten brats, and that is why they act out.
We can get a whole lot more towards solving power struggles when we see children as little human beings. They have needs just like you as well as me. As well as many times their legitimate needs are multiplied based on where they’re at on the brain as well as language development growth spectrum. What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
A toddler’s pre-frontal cortex (the component of the brain that enables self-control) is not yet developed. That means they can go from delighted one moment to major meltdown the next. So as opposed to combating a losing fight by ordering a 2-year-old to time-out for slapping you on the arm, you can recognize that:
• Young children have little self-restraint to start with
• Anger is a secondary emotion – that means there is typically a primary emotion below it
• Most upset children are actually scared and/or very sad
So what’s a peaceful parent to do?
• Determine if there are any basic needs that must be met initially. As an example, if a child is starving or sleepy, there’s no measure of peaceful OR punitive parenting that is going to assist. Focus on addressing that large need first.
• Validate his emotions without approving of the actions (“I can see that you’re truly angry since I said we couldn’t go to the park today. I know it’s tough since you truly really want to play on the swings. Hitting hurts, and also I will not allow you to do it”) … Then, move away to shield yourself if required.
• Focusing too much on what you DON’T desire the child to do only makes the situation even worse. So redirect the behavior toward something he MAY DO to let off steam when he is furious – like squeeze himself in a large hug and also say “I am angry!” Or ball his hands into fists and also growl. The objective is to enable him to share his anger in an age-appropriate way, while not hurting any person or anything.
Keep In Mind the Golden Rule
I informed you earlier that positive parenting works for all ages – from young children to ‘tweens, teenagers and everyone in between. So let’s talk about teens in our next scenario … What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
Respectful parenting goes both ways. That implies what we want to obtain from our child, we have to agree to give before anyone else. If I am disrespectful, manipulative and also sarcastic to my teen simply due to the fact that I “have every right because I am the parent” or due to the fact that “my child started it,” what do you assume that teaches my child?
It is a lot easier to offer respect to someone when they are respecting and valuing you. As the mother or daddy, you can set the example and communicate to your teen that you value their viewpoint, and you respect them as a person. What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
This does not suggest you need to be a pushover. It does suggest you can be kind in the face of problems. It will certainly accomplish more than you anticipate to establish the stage for problem solving with each other toward a resolution.
In a similar way, children mature a million times more from what we do than from what we say. If we want our young adult to treat us with even more regard, the first step is to make sure you, as the parent, are doing just that to every person in your life. What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
Are you kind to your partner, to your brother or sisters, to all your children, and also to the customer care associate on the phone? In every one of those circumstances, you have a VIP audience of one (your child!) that you should be considering. Remember, the apple will not fall far from the tree.
Is positive parenting really effective?
I could address this question with an unquestionable “Yes!” Or I could share a personal story …
Just recently, my 2 young girls were having a tiff. I asked my 3-year-old how she really felt, and she claimed she was angry because my 6-year-old took a sticker she was playing with.
My 6-year-old heard this, escaped to the other room to collect her thoughts, then came back as well as returned the stolen sticker label, apologized and also requested forgiveness.
They made up, embraced and started playing once more gladly. Yes, this ACTUALLY HAPPENED. No, I did not require or manipulate anyone to deal with the problem. As well as yet we experienced a beautiful resolution. You recognize why? What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
Due to the fact that we have modeled for our children exactly how to problem solve, exactly how to settle conflict, as well as even how to apologize. That’s right – we ask forgiveness to our kids when we screw up. (Gasp! Ask forgiveness to children, oh the horror.) That investment is returned a thousand-fold when you understand your children will inevitably repeat your actions.
The bottom line is … When we can humble ourselves, treat every person around us with respect, and model the habits we want, you would be amazed at what’s feasible.
Some visitors could be wondering about my spouse, Antonio, as well as his 2 teenage sons from a previous relationship. Gradually, Antonio has actually begun parenting positively also, and also the restoration of their relationship is nothing except miraculous.
Just how can you evolve to be a positive parent? What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
This is the million-dollar question! Learning positive parenting is one of the most rewarding things I have actually ever before done. I won’t stretch the truth to you – it can be challenging to change your old way of life. Little by little, you will make improvements. As well as a year or 2 from now, you won’t believe just how much you’ve changed, in addition to the closer connection you have with your kids.
I advise anybody that is serious about becoming an extra positive mama or daddy to have a look at Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions FREE parenting webinar. What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
You’ve probably seen Amy on ABC, CBS, CNN, FOX, MSNBC, Today Show, Rachel Ray or any kind of number of media networks. Her materials have actually been life-altering for greater than 75,000 parents around the world, as well as there’s no much better parenting guidance you can genuinely apply every day.
In her complimentary class, Amy shares how to help kids of every age to behave WITHOUT manipulating or screaming. She’ll help you in starting parenting positive, as well as discover how to quit the power struggle before it starts! You can register for the complimentary webinar by clicking the button shown below. What Types Of Activities Does An Occupational Therapist Help With
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